Your toddler may venture a few feet from your lap and then run back to make sure you are still there. Your preschooler may enjoy spending a few hours at a friend’s house but staying overnight might be too much independence and you get a late night call to pick him up. On the other hand, your eight year old might enjoy a little space from you and relish the opportunity to sleepover at a friend’s house. All of these activities are risks for children, and in order for them to take risks they need to feel they can return to security and predictability when they need it. Knowing your child’s strengths and capabilities will make it easier to provide the right balance between too much risk-taking and just enough.
Offer Encouragement – when your child is trying to take that first step, tie her shoes or ride a bike you can offer to help at the right time. Encourage your child to ask for help when something is too difficult and offer assistance without taking over the whole task. Moving from “I think I can” to “I can” is a process that allows children to blossom.
Practice Critical Thinking – Help your child understand cause and effect by accepting that they will make mistakes once in a while. Let them pour too much cereal in the bowl to find out there is no room for the milk and then talk about what happened. Critical thinking skills are necessary for independent children.
Be Patient – Children learn by doing. It’s always easier to do things yourself, but it’s better for your child if you don’t. She may make a mess or it might not be like you would do it, but your child will feel a sense of mastery and gain confidence if she does it herself.
Give Choices and Guidelines – When your child has the power to choose, it gives him practice at making decisions and eventually leads to self-sufficiency. Offer many choices throughout the day. “Would you like orange juice or a banana with your breakfast?” “What book would you like to read before bedtime?” “Do you want to wear the red shirt or the blue shirt?”
The key to encouraging independence is providing opportunities for developing self-reliance skills, while at the same time providing security that your child can always count on.
INFANT ACTIVITY (clipart of baby doing one of the actions)
WE CAN
Encourage your baby to do the actions with you. Talk about all the wonderful things she can do with her body.
We can jump, jump, jump,
We can clap, clap, clap,
We can hop, hop, hop,
We can kick, kick, kick.
TODDLER ACTIVITY
MATCHING MITTENS
Gather all the mittens and gloves you have in your family and lay them out on the floor. Socks work great too if you don’t have mittens. Demonstrate how to find matching mittens and set them aside. Let your child try matching them and be sure and give positive reinforcement for all attempts. Talk about colors, textures, size and shape.
PRESCHOOL ACTIVITY
Valentine Mice
Provide paper hearts for your child. Help him fold the heart in half and add a nose and whiskers to the tapered end with black marker or crayon. Glue string or yarn on the inside of the fold and let it hang out for the tail. You can help your child write a message on the inside of the mouse.
SCHOOL-AGE ACTIVITY
Heart Mosaic
Provide lots of different colors and textures of paper. Colorful magazines work great. Your child can tear small pieces and sort into piles with the same colors. She can draw several heart shapes on a large piece of paper or poster board and glue the colored pieces of paper on to the hearts. She can add a message or poem and use her masterpiece as a door decoration or a greeting card.
RAISING A HAPPY CHILD
At the end of the day there is one thing that we all want for our children – we just want them to be happy. Researchers note that happy people tend to have some key characteristics in common like a good sense of humor, close family ties, good friends, a gift for empathizing with others and a conviction that their life has meaning. You may be wondering what you can do to make sure your child has the key characteristics. Part of the answer is to accept your child for who he is, not who you think he should be, be attentive to his needs, take his fears seriously, listen when he speaks to you and above all, make sure he knows you love him unconditionally.
Here are some concrete ways that you can try to instill the characteristics that will make your child a happy camper.
Tap into tradition – family routines and traditions lend meaning to a child’s life and the predictability of these routines makes a child feel safe.
Say it with a song – it will lift a child’s spirits and ease stress.
Be community minded – it will help your child feel a part of the larger whole and helping others makes you feel good.
Curb your cynicism – children need to believe that the world is a good place and that people are basically decent.
Encourage your child’s passions – being truly absorbed in a challenging task is a quick route to happiness if it is meaningful to your child.
Raise a nature kid – appreciation of the natural world engages all the senses and helps stimulate the recognition of a just and purposeful existence. The inherent order we see in nature gives rise to a similar feeling in your child.
Own a pet - your child can learn crucial lessons about empathy, loyalty, and attachment from the animals they love. The pet in turn makes your child feel valued and competent.
Make your house a home – keeping things in place in your home gives your child a feeling of peace and contentment as long as it is comfortable and pleasant.
Dine together – eat healthy foods under pleasant, unhurried conditions.
Enjoy physical activity - physical affection relieves stress and elevates mood. In addition, when your child is active feel-good brain chemicals are released. Children who are physically fit have a more positive body image. It’s fun for children to run, jump, swim, ride bikes and play especially when you join in. After all, isn’t having fun the most basic definition of happiness?
ASK THE EXPERT (Jody Martin)
How can I minimize power struggles with my daughter? It takes us forever to get ready in the morning. We are always late everywhere we go. Signed Frustrated and Frazzled
No matter how compliant a child, there will be times when she does not want to put on her socks or when she refuses to pick up her toys. As young children develop, they begin to understand that they can make their own decisions. And occasionally they make a power play at an inconvenient time.
While a power play can be frustrating for you, it is a healthy part of your child’s social/emotional development. These incidents help her develop a stronger sense of self and the capability to set her own limits.
In many instances, trying to force your child to do what she has said she will not do escalates the situation into a full-blown power struggle. Try offering assistance instead. For example, you might say, “You can put on your socks by yourself or I can help you this morning.” Or, “I could help you put away your toys. Would you like that?”
Or offer choices. “OK, you don’t want to wear these socks today. Would you rather wear blue ones or green ones?” “Let’s see. Which would be easier to start with: putting the blocks in this tub or putting the cars back in their case?”
So hang in there, power plays are simply a part of growing up. They offer opportunities for your child to develop self-esteem and self-control.
Sincerely,
Jody Martin
Director of Education and Training
Crème de la Crème
Crème de la Crème
Please feel free to visit Crème de la Crème Pre School at CremeDeLaCreme.com or call 800 374 5715 to set up a tour today!
Other Crème de la Crème pre schools, childcares and daycares can be found in:
Buckhead Atlanta GA,
Nesbit Ferry Alpharetta GA
Peachtree Corners Norcross GA
Sugarloaf Duluth GA
Mason OH,
Allen TX,
Crème de la Crème 8400 East Prentice Ave. Suite 1320, Greenwood Village, CO 80111
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